Tuesday, April 13, 2010

No Sleep 'til Brooklyn

I did not sleep well last night for several reasons. And I think that talking about those reasons will fill you in on everything that's going on right now:

1) I bought some fake hot dogs from Trader Joe's yesterday. They are actually called veggie protein links. They are Satan's food. The gas that they gave me sucked for a variety of reasons: A) There was lots of it. B) It stank bad. C) It hurt my tummy. D) Every fart I cut made me feel like I was pooping in my underwear.

It's strange though, because I'm craving hot dogs so bad right now that I have the package of veggie protein links in front of me on the table, and I want to cook some up and eat them -- despite the fact that I know they taste like the vaguest approximation of a hotdog, and despite the fact that as recently as 3 hours ago I sat on the toilet and vowed to never ever eat them again. Satan's food.

2) There is a position that will be opening up at my place of employment in the near future, and it is a position that I have expressed interest in before, and I fear that the long-term future of the position I currently hold is in jeopardy. So this morning I went up to work and told my (relatively new) boss that I was interested. We'll see if anything happens with it. It would be a lateral move for me, and it might involve a pay cut, and there are other people interested in the job, so there are lots of proverbial shoes that are still waiting to proverbially drop.

So I was thinking about that a lot last night.

3) I received in the mail yesterday a notice from the Circuit Court for Baltimore City Jury Commissioner that on April 1st I failed to report for jury duty and that they were going to fine me a thousand dollars and put me in jail for 60 days. OK, actually it said that those things were the maximum penalty for not showing up for jury duty, and it turns out that all I had to do was call today and reschedule my jury duty (July 14th. Bastille Day!), but nonetheless it helped keep me awake last night. As I said to the J-Dog, I wouldn't be able to make it in prison.

4) I got this book yesterday, about DFW. And it kept me awake because I was both thinking about it as I was in bed and also reading it during my numerous I-think-I-might-have-just-pooped-in-my-PJ's-and-I'd-better-go-check bathroom trips.



That's all. That's the stuff that was going on last night. And I really didn't mind it too much, because I'm off work today and I can nap if I want to, and because the Jeanners was having trouble sleeping, too, so we would chat briefly and hold hands while we both laid awake.

1 comment:

Portland's girl. said...

Sounds rough; And, why not eat real hot dogs? The horrors, of Trader Joe's pretend dogs. I don't get it. Best of luck, for the up coming position. Be so super positive, and believe! Or, trust what happens--Is supposed to happen. That is what helps me keep my head on....Jury duty, interesting.