My biggest pasttime right now seems to be doing some type of therapy. I'm getting a little tired of it, but only because my brain soaks that shit up like a sponge and then doesn't want to let go of it. The latest thing I've been working on is digging into attachment theory -- looking at why I have what seems to be a fairly fucked-up mix of desperately needing validation from an intimate relationship AND perfect comfort with the idea of never seeing another human being again. And yet it all seems to feel perfectly normal to me.
Currently sitting contentedly on the couch listening to mostly soft tunes, reading ol' Jacky Kerouacky, while Jeanners and the kids are out at a kid birthday party, nary an illuminated overhead light in sight, lamplight only please.
Ah, but who cares? As each day passes, I'm less convinced that this all means anything, and I wasn't particularly convinced before anyway.
I think I'm just feeling a little bleak today. There's been some death and illness around me lately, and it's got my outlook a little bit on the gloomy side.
