Thursday, July 21, 2016

Ad Memoriam

What a weird week it's been.   Mostly work (and world) stuff, but personal stuff, too.  Is it just me, or does 2016 seem to be an extraordinarily weird year?   Like, a year that makes you start to believe the Book of Revelations.  A year that makes you feel like you're rounding a corner.  A year that feels like it's just getting started, and by the end of it things are going to be ravaged and fucked and blowing in the breeze.

At the same time, things feel pretty damned normal.  At work:  designing shows, building shows, taking care of building problems.  At home:  kids growing, developing, testing; working on relationships, Couple, schedules.  All that hyper-normal shit.  I think if someone was to ask me what my life was like, that's the word I would use to describe it:  hypernormal.

My mantra for the year has been "Let no fear enter this heart."  It's not really worked so far, but it's been a nice thought to come back to and to try to use to conjure itself into being.  I'm adding a corollary tonight:  "Return to Zen."  It's a place where I used to be but that I've felt very far away from lately.  Kids and job. mostly.  What does a Zen father look like?  What does a Zen TD look like?  I'm not really sure.

Jeannie's starting to snore next to me.  Mostly it's really just heavy nose breathing.  I should really be going to bed.

Samuel has a thorn/splintery thing stuck in his finger.  Damn if I know how to get it out.