Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Shamu Jr.

On Cheers, after the cold open, the opening credits and theme song would play, and then there'd be a little 5 second shot of, like, some buildings somewhere in Boston, and then they'd start the show inside the bar.  During that little 5 second exterior shot of Boston, there'd be a short little line of music, maybe 5 seconds long or so, just long enough to play over the shot, and it would be snappy and jazzy and usually bass-heavy with a melody played on clarinet or saxophone.  I want to start a cover band that plays only those little 5-second jazzy numbers.

Tonight I wanted to make my Facebook status this:  'Oh, my poor bottom.'  But I didn't. 

Shamu Jr. is a Mexican wrestler mentioned on a This American Life episode from 1998. 

There is no greater joy in my life right now than when Sam wakes up in the morning and gets his diaper changed, and then I put him in his playpen and he picks up books and looks through them, chuckling and cooing to himself while I go about my morning business of making eggs and pooping and starting the laundry. 

Last week Jerns and I bought a bird feeder, and put I put it up last Friday or so, and we've been getting excited whenever we've gotten birds come eat at the thing (mostly cardinals, because we are proud St. Louisans at heart), and today there was a damned squirrel that discovered it and ate a good bunch of the bird seed out of it.  And I felt a lot like my dad, because he used to become infuriated by the squirrels that would violate his poor bird feeder on a daily basis, and he would sit by the back window with a BB gun, waiting for the squirrels to come out so he could shoot them if they went after his bird feeder.  I always used to think he was a little bit nuts, and I still do, but now I understand that squirrels stealing birdseed from lovely, innocent, hungry birds can make you a little bit nuts. 

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Jeannie Doesn't Mind the Corners

Another week over.  A good week.  Got to hang with the Beej twice, got to hang with A-Train, got to hang with Pat, got to play geek games.  Also, of course, got to play with my little boy (this week we got him his first balls to play with [no comments, please]) and my lovely wife.  She made a funny joke about not minding the corners that only BJ and Aimee got to hear and if you missed it, well, you should come over to our house and hang out more often and you wouldn't miss things like that. 

I also went to the dentist this week for the first time in over a decade.  At the behest of my wife, because my mouth is turning into something that looks and smells like this:

You can thank E. Elz for bringing that picture to my attention, by the way.  Anyway, I hate the fucking dentist, and I'm sorry for the profanity but there really is no other way to say it that gets the point across.  I hate the fucking dentist more than I hate anything in the world, and to be honest I really think there might be something wrong with people who want to stick their hands in peoples' mouths all day.  And then, like, poke at their gums with sharp tools.  Doesn't that seem wrong?  So anyway, I'm going back to the dentist in approximately a month and they're going to drug me up and then do all the shit they need to do, and for the sake of my wife and son I am going to try and be a good example and see the dentist with some regularity (but probably not frequency), or at least not be such a big baby about the dentist so that my kid isn't a baby about the dentist and hygiene and going to the doctor and all that baloney. 

I tell you what, it's a good thing that we don't keep doritos in the house because if we did I would eat about a bag a day, and the poops that eating a bag of doritos causes are not something I want to be dealing with all the time. 

Saturday, March 16, 2013


Tonight as I drove home from work I was stopped at the light where I turn from Perring Parkway onto Echodale, and a car pulled up behind me that had the brightest blinker I've ever seen.  Seriously.  You could've used the thing to guide ships in the harbor on foggy nights.  It lit up the whole intersection and all the houses and apartments and stuff that are around the intersection. I hated it, and it also made me feel proud of my little humble blinker that seemed to have downcast eyes and lit up maybe the area 2 feet in front of it. 

And then I got home and went in the bathroom to take a leak and saw some of Sam's clothes on the floor left over from when Jeannie must've given him a bath tonight, and it made me miss him and wish he was awake so we could play.  And then he woke up a little bit (on his own, I didn't have anything to do with it) and I heard him cry out in his crib and I immediately started praying, "Pleasegoddon'tlethimwakeup, Pleasegoddon'tlethimwakeup, Pleasegoddon'tlethimwakeup...," and so far it has worked, he hasn't woken all the way up.  I think it might be the light from the bathroom that lights up some of the hallway, and then because there isn't trim around his bedroom door yet, the light in the hallway must go into his room a little bit.  Cause he seems to stir a little whenever somebody goes into the bathroom, even quietly.

I finished re-reading The Lord of the Rings, and I enjoyed it.  I think I enjoy all the info that is part of the story but isn't in the actual story most of all.  I mean, all the stuff that's in the appendices and of course all the related material in the Silmarillion and stuff.  And I also watched the movies, which I did not enjoy very much.  Too much CGI, of course.  I don't understand why people like movies with really blatant CGI in them, because to me they always look really really bad.  Just awful.  And I guess I just can't get past that.

So I'm currently without a book to read, and that hasn't happened in awhile, and I even don't feel like re-reading Infinite Jest or any Kerouac again, and that hasn't happened in, like, forever.  So I need suggestions on what book to read next.  I would like something big and life-changing and something that has the power to define my thirties the way IJ seemed to define my twenties.  Thought about trying some Murakami but I read a little bit of The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle at work and couldn't really get into it.  So, suggestions?

Monday, March 11, 2013

Big Fans of the Sausage

Jeanners and I have been making some homemade pizzas lately that have been outstanding.  I attribute the pizza awesomeness to the fact that we recently purchased a pizza stone, and also recently started putting Italian sausage on the pizzas regularly.  And a good dough recipe that makes nice, crispy, relatively thin crusted pizza. 

Where is the Jeanners?  I arrived home from my Monday-morning meeting a few minutes ago and Jerns and Sam are not here.  No note left, either. 


1.  Old men with military service advertised on their hats
2.  African-American kids on skateboards
3.  Stutterers
4.  Nuns

Jeanners is home. 

Yesterday had it some beautiful weather and we were all able to get outside and do a little bit of work in the yard.  Sam is still getting used to grass and soft ground and doesn't quite know what to make of it all yet.  But he seems to like being out in the sunshine and the breeze, and really likes it when he gets to play with our neighbors' dog, Cameo. 

Monday, March 04, 2013

What Are You Looking For in a Pope?

Why is it that when the Jeanners and I have a kid, and life feels interesting and actually worth writing about, that there seems to be no time or energy for writing?  Well, I will say that I am sacrificing much-needed sleep in order to stay up and write in this blog (although I'm also sacrificing much-needed sleep in order to stay up and drink this much-needed G&T). 

What's been going on?  This:

1.  work
2.  keep an eye on Sam and change his poopy diapers and give him food and keep him entertained
3.  little tiny steps of progress on the house

For the past few months Jeannie and I have been trying to decide what type of flooring to have in our kitchen, when here Sam goes and makes the decision for us:  our kitchen floor will be made of stepped-on Cheerios and corn puffs ground into old hardwood by shoes and feet.  

Jeannie and I have just bought tickets to hit St. Lou in early April.  I hope to take a trip to K-ville to see Ron Rybs.  Also want to spend some quality time with the fam and let them soak up the wonderful terribleness of a baby becoming a toddler. 

I purchased the TX-8050 Stereo Receiver about a week ago (nobody got it for me for my birthday) and so far really like it.  Next step is to buy some speaker wire and set up some speakers in the kitchen so I can blast my fucking Car Talk in several rooms of the house. 

The post that I just linked to in the previous paragraph is called "BTC's", and I have no idea what BTC could possibly stand for except "Big Time Cocksucker."  That might have been what I was thinking when I wrote the post but then again it might not. 

I ate too many peanuts today.  Tummy ache.  A lesson never learned.