The Internet is Not Dead, Bitches!

I am getting a cold. Perhaps acquired from my father (who had a cold this weekend), perhaps acquired by swimming in the ocean when it was probably too cold to be swimming in the ocean. I went to bed last night at 6pm and woke up this morning at 6am. I drank a half gallon of juice throughout the day at work today. Must kick this bastard in its johnson. What the hell, "johnson" isn't in Blogger's spellcheck dictionary? How the hell can one compose a decent blog post without "johnson"?

My parents arrived on Friday evening and we drove up to Wildwood, NJ when the Jeanners and I got home from our respective jobs. We spent the weekend going to the beach, exploring the Jersey shore, swimming in the hotel pool, eating at various restaurants, and driving. It was a good time. Although Jeannie and I did have an argument. Which was definitely the low point of my trip. Thanks a lot, Jeannie! Sheesh! It makes me want to buy some new shoes and get a divort.

My parents ended up staying in our place on Sunday night, which was not planned but worked out fine. It's weird to have your parents sleeping in your bed (not while we were in it, of course. We were on an air mattress in the living room).

Found out some shit about my dad's stomach tumor. I'm gonna call it a tumor, because although nobody knows quite what it is, I'm pretty sure you can call pretty much any unexplained growth a "tumor". So anyway, he showed my the report he got from when they gave him a CAT scan for the kidney stone (which still hasn't passed, by the way), and from the report I learned that the tumor is not in his stomach (the organ), but rather his abdomen. And it's 11cm X 11cm X 8cm. Which is bigger than I had imagined it to be, and seems big. So it's concerning. And his tests are scheduled for October 13th, and it'll be like 3 days of tests, and I'm sure just not very fun. But we had a good chat about it (in the jacuzzi at the hotel) and he seems ok with it, and ready to face whatever is on the way. And of course, there is still a chance that it could be nothing. So we'll see...

Thursday I am going to take a bus up to NYC after work and meet Schlueter for a fabulous New York dinner (I think I'm gonna have a steak, goddammit) and then bus back late Thursday night. Looking forward to it. Headphones, reading material, walking around New York, Schlueter, dinner, headphones, reading material.

Doesn't Anybody Care About Long Turds Anymore?

A few interesting DFW links I have come across in the last few days, especially interesting if you've read Infinite Jest:

http://theknowe.net/dfwfiles/pdfs/Wallace-Amherst_Review-The_Planet.pdf

and

http://www.granadahouse.org/alumni_letters.htm

Also, purchased the Dolly Parton album Jolene yesterday and have been totally enjoying it. If you've ever thought that maybe you might enjoy a Dolly Parton album (and I know you have), I would definitely recommend this one as a good place to start. There's a bonus track where she sings a song called "Cracker Jack" that's about her childhood puppy (the titular Cracker Jack), and I know you're thinking, "Jesus Christ, Dolly Parton singing a song called "Cracker Jack," and it's all about her childhood puppy -- that sounds like my idea of a very very bad thing," but it's really not. And two main reasons it doesn't completely suck are A) subtle production and B) Dolly Parton's vocals. She can sell the songs, and she does it by honesty.

I had a dream about The Beej last night. I think he had come to town to see some sort of CSC production. It was nice to see him, even if it didn't really happen.

Both Jeannie and I were sleeping very very soundly this morning when the alarm went off. It's not often that we're both sleeping well. And 5:45 felt far too early.

My parents are still planning on coming for their visit this Friday. Daddy-o has not passed ye olde kidneye stone. But left a message today saying that he feels up to the trip.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that I'll bet that this is the first blog post that ever talked about David Foster Wallace and Dolly Parton. Two great tastes that taste great together.

Update!

Well, there really isn't much of an update. My dad went to the oncologist on Friday, and the oncologist said, "Yes, we should perform tests on whatever this thing is in your tummy that showed up on the CAT scan for the kidney stone." The semi-good news is that the oncologist did not seem like the tests needed to be performed immediately and said that my folks could come out here for their visit and then get the tests when they return to the Lou.

So, now I'm just hoping that my Dad passes his stone (ouch!) before they come out here, we have a grand ol' time, then he gets his arse back home for tests and everything turns out hunky dory.

Other updates:

I ran 10 miles the other day. Jeannie knows all about it.

Eating less fat makes for very long turds. There, I said it.

Schlueter might be coming East! Possible NYC rendezvous in the works...

Me Pap

So I got a call from my sister this evening, who told me that my Dad went to the emergency room this morning, and the long story made short is that he has a kidney stone. And the other part of the long story is that they found a "mass" in his "stomach."

Now, we don't know what the "mass" is, and we don't know if "stomach" means the actual organ or what my dad calls the area between his boobies and his pants. So he goes to his oncologist (my dad had lymphoma back in the day, when I was like 8) tomorrow, for tests and probes and pokes and who knows what else.

(sigh.)

I just got off the phone with him a few minutes ago, and he sounds fine. He sounds like the thing he's most concerned about is trying to get my deposit on the hotel back if they have to cancel their trip. We are all professing the belief that we shouldn't worry until we actually have something to worry about, and at the same time I'm sure that we are all worried.

The Day

Feeling better. Woke up this morning and felt as though a little bit of the fog of the past few days had lifted.

Things of the day stuck in my head:

1. An old man and his wife came into the department this morning. I asked him, "How are you?" He said (in a cute, smiley old man French accent), "I'll have to go into deep communion with myself in order to answer that question."

Five minutes later, he walked by and said, "So-so."

Five minutes after that, I took he and his wife to find a Pete Seeger cd and he said, "Fantastic."

Then, five minutes later, as he and his wife came to pay, he said, "Overflowing with happiness."

I don't know. That little snippet doesn't do justice to the guy. I just liked his answers. They weren't standard "How are you?" "Good, thanks." answers. They had thought behind them. Which is more than I can say for my questions, and as a result I put a little more thought into my interactions during the day.

2. At about 11:30 this morning I confronted a shoplifter who was trying to steal some blu-ray DVD's, and when I told him that he needed to give me the DVD's back, he said, "ARE YOU ACCUSING ME? ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF STEALING? CAUSE IF YOU ARE I WILL FLATTEN YOU!" And then I said, "Yes. Yes, I am accusing you, and I need you to give me those DVD's back. And I was very genuinely scared, because this was a big guy, about 6'3", muscular, 220 lbs, and an asshole. And a thief. So I was scared, and he tried leaving so I followed him out of the store and then down the street, and I asked him where we were walking to, and he said, "Someplace quiet so I can kick your ass." And I said, "Oh, OK," and kept following him. And I don't really know why I kept following him, because I really seriously thought that he was going to at least punch me in the face. And I was still scared. But for some reason (and I will interject here [in admittedly stolen DFW fashion] that a weird reason that I kept following him had something unexplainable and very much in the back of my mind to do with how my head has been screwed up over DFW's suicide, and getting my ass kicked really didn't sound all that bad at 11:30 this morning) I kept following him and trying to annoy him by asking his name and making stupid small talk, making him painfully aware that I would follow him wherever he decided to go. And after a little bit of that, he eventually took the DVD's out of his cargo pocket and threw them over his shoulder, and I got them and went back to the store. And for the first time in a very very long time, I felt brave. And I felt good.

I have two days off starting tomorrow, and I'm hoping to get some laundry done, but other than that I don't know how to spend my time. Cleaning? Working on music? Running?

or E) All of the above?

More DFW

Haven't really known what to write. This DFW thing has messed with my head a little more than it probably should. Work for the past few days has been incredibly slow, so I've had about 6 hours a day to do nothing but stand around and think about it, and feel bad, and wonder, and be scared, and sad. I think that it's a pretty ludicrous reaction to the death of somebody you never knew, and I'm embarrassed to be writing it, but there it is.

I watched this yesterday, and it didn't help at all, but I'm glad I watched it. It's long, and it's from over a decade ago so there's a distance there, but I like it.



"What the really great artists do is: they're entirely themselves. They're entirely themselves, they've got their own vision, their own way of fracturing reality, and that if it's authentic and true you will feel it in your nerve endings." (27:08)

That's the last I'm gonna write about him, for now.

R.I.P. DFW

I just read that David Foster Wallace was found dead in his home on Friday night. Jesus fucking christ.

Let's Get Physics-cal!

Well, it's been over a week since I've written, but Jebus Christ, nobody else has been writing, either, so I don't wanna hear it. Thanks to OAA, who I can always count on to save my daily shit-checking regimen from being a complete wash.

Here's what's been happening:

1. Working with the J-Dog on her Physics. It's harder than I remember it being. It's really been a long time since I've had to do any math harder than say, well, addition. But we seem to be making progress.

2. I ran six miles the other day. And I've been telling Jeannie about it every day since. Pray for her.

3. My parents are coming out for a visit at the end of the month. We're going to drive to New Jersey and stay here. Hopefully it will turn out to be as enjoyable as their visit last year.

4. Jeannie found my toenails. And she was, as predicted, grossed out. And seemed a little pissed, despite the fact that she already knew, from reading this blog, that they were hidden somewhere. Sheesh!

5. There seem to be rotting tomatoes everywhere in our apartment.

6. The first stage of my secret project is done.

7. Work has been b o r i n g. But the holidays are looming with their dark, evil loominess.

8. J-Dog and I may go on a date tonight! Maybe dinner, maybe see the new Coen Bros. flick.

9. Gonna go give myself a haircut.

Alone

I'm spending the evening by myself tonight, as the Jeanners has a late night with her Physics class and then lab. So she won't be getting home 'til around 11 or so. A long day for her. So I'm sitting here, and I just finished a couple of veggie burgers for dinner, and I went for a run earlier, and now I'm a little bored. So I'm listening to Bill Evans' cd Alone and trying to find some inspiration somewhere. Inspiration for what, I'm not exactly sure. Just something to put a little bit of my energy (or what's left of it) into.

Lordy, Lordy, tonight I've decided that I really, really hate politics. I think it brings out the worst in people. And I think that I hate politics because at heart I prefer inaction to action. C'est la vie.

I've been reading a Kerouac book lately that I first read a long time ago and didn't like. Visions of Cody. When I first read it, it was pretty easy to dismiss as gibberish, but now I'm finding it to be really good. I think the key is that it's not meant to be read like a normal novel, it's meant to be read in a series of short (usually, luckily for me, bathroom-length) bursts. It doesn't really have much of a plot, it's more just a series of impressions. But they're very detailed, very richly described and perfectly written impressions. But then again, maybe I just haven't gotten to the part that sucks yet. I think it's gonna take me a long time to finish (hopefully I won't be bitching the whole way a la "Mason and Dixon"), and I might give up midway through, but I'm enjoying it for now. The original unedited scroll of On the Road recently was published in paperback and I'm interested in getting that...

Korn's last day at the B&N was Tuesday. She's headed off to Jersey to have a real life. I'm happy for her, and glad that she's taking steps in the right direction (away from the B&N), but I will miss her at work. The one rule of B&N: everybody leaves. Anyway, we had a good little gathering at the Rec Room where I had one goddamned tasty muthafuckin', juice-drippin' burger and kept my beer drinking under control so I didn't make an ass out of myself. Or at least no more of an ass than I usually am. I did drink a lot of Sprite though. Sprite is good!

Earlier this evening a good portion of our apartment smelled like Vicks Vap-O Rub. The smell seemed to be coming into the apartment from somewhere outside (?) (!!) I think it is one of the signs of impending apocalypse when your city starts smelling like Vicks.

This cd is not quite as moody as I thought it would be. But maybe I'm just not listening closely enough. It is pretty good, though.

Don't Let Me Into This Year With an Empty Heart

Jeannie and I got back last night from Caretaker Farm, which is in the northwestern corner of Massachusetts, outside a little town called Williamstown. We visited our friend Katie, who has been working as an intern on the farm since April, and will continue her internship until November, when she may return to Baltimore or continue farming.

I am not one to throw around superlatives lightly, and I am not really a touchy-feely, wishy-washy type guy, but I have to say that the place was really special and in a way, life-changing. I was really blown away by the friendliness, coolness, and quiet sense of pride and satisfaction that the small group of people who worked there seemed to have. And of course the place was beautiful.





We had planned on camping, but instead ended up staying in a common room for the 4 interns on the farm. It looked like this, and it was pretty cool:



The common room is built over the part of the barn where the pigs are kept, so at night while you're trying to sleep you can hear the pigs rustling around underneath you, as well as the mice scurrying around in the ceiling above you, and then in the morning the cows start mooing right outside the window once the interns start milking (also right below the common room).

It was a great trip, and wonderful to see Katie, who showed us around the beautiful area (the farm is located in the Berkshires), took us hiking, and introduced us to everybody and made us feel perfectly at home. The "visiting friends in interesting places for vacation" policy has once again proven itself to be a wonderful thing.



Last night on the way home Jeannie and I stopped at a cute little diner called the "Penn-Can" in, I believe, someplace called Birmingham, Pennsylvania. The place looked like someplace out of a Tom Waits song and served food that would have made the folks at Caretaker Farm wince -- all fried and greasy and guiltily delicious. It was a nice little truck stop type place.

Today the J-Dog and I spent a good part of the day studying physics for her class. Trying to get the basics mastered so the rest doesn't suck. I'm so glad I'm not in school anymore.