Terders and faerts

If I had a time machine right now, and could travel to any time or place I desired, I would go back in time and not eat whatever is was that I ate that is making my farts smell like this. 

You should feel bad for me because, for about a day and a half, I have had several songs from the new John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John Xmas CD stuck in my head.  Specifically, "This Christmas," and "Baby It's Cold Outside" (which somehow manages to sound, simultaneously, exactly the same as every other version of "Baby It's Cold Outside" you've ever heard AND worse than every other version of "Baby It's Cold Outside" you've ever heard). 

My son has started making solid turds.  It's weird.  I know I should be happy about this because it means that he's healthy, and he's processing solid food well and able to move it through the ol' alimentary canal well, but it really makes me kinda sad.  It's almost a little too adult, like he's started carrying a little briefcase around or reading the Wall Street Journal or something.

Work, so far, has been not-too-bad this holiday season.  The worst is yet to come. 

I just want to go on record as saying autumn seemed especially long and especially beautiful this year.  It also seems like it's almost over. 

I just Googled 'alimentary canal' to make sure I was using it correctly.  It's been a long time since grade school science class and I've forgotten a lot.  Turns out, though, that I'm a fucking genius on this one. 

I also just Googled 'genius' because it looked funny. 

I'm off work tomorrow.  I will be babysitting Dr. Babykins, however, so I'm not planning on doing anything productive or exciting.  I am merely planning on having a fun day with my little dude, maybe going for a walk, singing some songs, doing some standing, having some "play-by-your-fucking-self" time, and of couse meals and naps. 

Also considering buying Christmas lights!  Multicolored ones if I can find 'em. 

Quadriplegic Dogs of the Snowlands

If you were trying to find pictures of dogs that had skis for legs (or skids) you might try typing the title of this post into Google (or the search engine of your choice).  Or you might not.  Anyway, we tried it last night and we were unable to find any pictures of dogs with skis for legs.  They must be out there.  It was pretty easy finding pictures of dogs with wheels for legs, though.

Had a good time with Beej and Aimee last night, although Abby couldn't make it.  We ended up not playing any games, though, just eating some very average food and talking a lot and drinking drinks and then talking about "getting Snood."  I got a little bit tipsy, but comfortably tipsy.  I wasn't falling over or anything and I didn't wake up with a hangover.  Which is good, because Sam was up at his usual 6am and HE WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY HUNGOVER PLAYMATES.  Do not test him on this point. 

Tomorrow is Turkey Day, and the Jeanners and I have no real plans, just lots of little stuff we'd like to do.  We will be missing the Ohio crew and Uncle Rico.  Haven't talked to Rico in awhile, and I hope he is doing well.  Hopefully we'll be able to catch up at Christmastime in St. Lou.

I've been playing a little bit of Super Mario Bros. 2 lately.  I never played it very much as a kid.  I'm not very good at it.  In fact, I'm downright bad.  But you know what?  There are lots of other things that I'm ok at so I don't feel too bad about it.  I could probably beat you at ping-pong so shut up. 

Now I'm in a bad mood.  Thanks a lot.  Happy Thanksgiving. 

Prepping for the Beej

Tomorrow night A-Train, the Beej and his betrothed, Abby, are coming over for a dinner of pizza (or some other carryout food), and games.  I am tres excited about this.  Tres means "very" in Franch.  I like to say "Franch" more than "French" because it is more fun.  Sometimes I ask Sam if he wants to French kiss.  And then I go in for a French but he doesn't do anything.

Tomorrow I have to give myself a haircut.  I also have to clean the bathroom.  I also have to go to the grocery store and buy tonic, Coke, Sprite, eggs, and some sort of snack chip.  Also have to go to the liquor store and buy gin and beer.   I also have to sweep some areas of the floor in our house, most especially the bathroom floor, the hallway, and our bedroom.  Originally, cleaning the kitchen was on my list of things to do tomorrow, but the J-Dog cleaned the kitchen while I was at work tonight.  She has earned my love for another week or so. 

Sam went like 4 days without pooping.  He is normally a pretty regular guy, so I was worried when he went like 4 days without pooping. 

Awhile ago I wrote about a lung issue that I was having.  I am happy to report that the lung issue seems to have gone away.  I haven't had to use the inhaler for about 2 months now.

I gotta poop, and it's getting so I can't think straight because of it.  So I'm gonna do us both a favor and stop writing now. 

To Be Young, Gifted, and Black

In a few minutes it will be the J-Dog and my 8th anniversary.  Woo-Hoo!  Happy Anniversary to us! 

We are not really going to be doing anything special for this one.   The Jeanners is working tomorrow, and I'm taking Sam over to the CSC offices while I have a meeting with Ian about lighting in the new building.  Then we're tentatively planning on getting some carryout from Koco's for dinner. 

One thing we did do yesterday, that was not officially anniversary-related but does fit in nicely with the idea of us getting something nice for ourselves, was buy some adult furniture.  Adult furniture where the different pieces match each other.  Pretty crazy shit.  But anyway, our front room, which hitherto had been pretty much just a storage room for baby equipment, is starting to look like a real live living room.  It's looking like this:

Imagine me rubbing your feet and playing guitar while you lay on the couch and a fire burns slowly in the fireplace behind our new fireplace doors (not pictured) and we eat nachos.  Actually, we're gonna try not to eat while we're on the furniture, because pretty much everything I eat has either tomato sauce or salsa in it, and it is impossible for me to eat anything without spilling some on myself or the world around me. 

Sam has turned into a pretty decent sleeper.  He's been going to bed around 6-6:30pm and sleeping until around 4:30 or 5am.  It's pretty awesomefor Jeannie and I to have the evening to ourselves, although his early bedtime does cut into our cocaine and sex party routine. 

I think that's all I got.  The title of this post was taken from a Nina Simone song that has been in my head because we've been listening to the Meshell Ndegeocello cover at work.  She also does a cover of Leonard Cohen's "Suzanne" that is pretty awesome.

Sordid Butt Juice Chanting

I went, last night, to a movie.  At the theater, by myself.  An 8:45 show that got out around midnight.  Jeez, I haven't done that in, like, a million years!  First of all, I never go to movies.  Second of all, when I do go to movies I go with the J-Dog.  Third of all, I am usually in bed by midnight.  But anyway, I went to see Cloud Atlas, which is based on a book of the same name which I had read and enjoyed, and its scope is epic enough that I wanted to see it on the big screen.  I'm glad I went.  While there are parts of the movie that weren't great, and they changed some of the stuff in the book to make it a little bit more cheesy and Hollywood, I still enjoyed it.  And although the movie is close to 3 hours long, there was only about 10 minutes or so where I was feeling like things were getting too long.  And the air was crisp and cool as I walked out of the theater to my car, and I don't know, it just felt nice to be out on my own doing something. 

I am on the second of two days off with young Samuel, after having worked 7 busy days in a row getting stuff set up at work for Christmas.  The hurricane screwed up some of the prep time for the Christmas set-up, so I had to cram about a week's worth of work into 3 days.  Which is why the days were busier than usual.  Anyway, it feels good to be off, and it's been fun hanging out with Sam, and he's currently sitting in the high chair playing peacefully by himself.  Which is the best thing in the world. 

Been feeling weirdly emotional lately, kinda like I need to sit down and cry for about an hour.  But not in a bad way.  More like a "my-life-feels-pretty-damned-perfect-and-I'm-scared-to-lose-it" kinda way.  Pretty much the exact opposite of zen.  Ugh.  I don't know how to be zen and have a kid. 

Jeannie and I made a list of a lot of the stuff that we need to get done on the house.  I will tell you that it is a very long list. 

The diet is going pretty well.  I feel like I'm losing weight but still eating somewhat reasonably and not starving myself.  One good thing for aiming for 1500 calories a day or less is that even if you miss, you still end up under 2000 calories a day. 

The title of this post comes from old refridgerator magnet poetry that hasn't been on our fridge for probably 3.5 years. 

My Mushroom Cap

Here's a picture of Jeannie and Sam on his first Halloween. 

Jeannie spent about 70% of the three days that we were at home together working on the damn things.  She was having so much fun.  It was nice to see her getting so much enjoyment out of a little project like that. 

Going back to work yesterday su-hu-ucked.  Catching up on 3 days worth of shipments, 3 days worth of customers, and trying to get ready for Christmas was no good.  Plus, I was in a little bit of Sam n' Jeannie withdrawal. 

So anyway, Sam's got a little bit of a cold right now, and he's a little more pukey than usual, so we've just been spending a normal day at home (although we did walk up to Harvest Fare earlier and buy a variety of soup products).  We've got a branch in the back that needs to get cut up, but I probably won't do it today because it's still a bit rainy and damp and gross.  Although, we're in November now, so it's probably gonna be that way for awhile. 

Time to do some dishes.