Thursday, August 28, 2008

Into the Bush

Tomorrow morning J-Dog and I are leaving for our little end-of-the-summer mini-vacation, which will consist of us camping on a farm in Massachusetts. Please water our plants while we are gone.

While I was writing the title of this post, I was reminded of a dream I had the other night: In the dream, I was looking through a stack of old photos that my parents had from the 70's. It looked like my parents owned and operated a swanky nightclub in the 70's, because everybody was decked out in leisure suits and had big swanky collars and looked generally coked to the gills. And then as I was flipping through the stack of photos, I came across a picture of Ava Gabor's bush, and my mom said, "Oh, we'd better get rid of that one." That was my dream.

Over this past weekend, I must have been attacked by a swarm of some sort of industrial strength, mutant swamp mosquitoes, as I have about a hundred bites on my legs that have been itching fer days.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Loose Ends

Many things have been happening and jumping:

1. The most wonderful and amazing thing is that PKP and T is gonna have a baby! Woo-Hoo! I am excited by this news.

2. I got stung by a bee!

3. I went to court about a week and a half ago cause I got subpoenaed for the shoplifter. I didn't really have to do anything because the shoplifter sort of plead guilty. But court was boring and interesting at the same time. It was interesting to listen to other people's cases. It was also interesting to watch the State's Attorney, the Public Defender, and the Judge, all of whom seemed to know their jobs very well. It was funny because everyone talked VERY FAST all the time.

4. Jeannie and I are going out of town this weekend on a super-secret semi-impromptu-but-not-really vacation. We're gonna camp. Theoretically. Unless I wuss out and decide I want to stay somewhere with a hot tub.

5. I guess the Schluetermetz' should be arrivin' in Oregon right about now? Or soon?

6. Korn is moving away. Which makes me sad. But I'm happy for her because I think her life will be more exciting and interesting once she moves.

7. I ran 4 miles the other day.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Goodbye O, Hello O!

Well, in a few days, the Schluetermetz' will be leaving Ohio. Truly the end of an era. Poor Ohio, which I have long held to be the suckiest state in The Union, now has no redeeming qualities. And although I definitely have great memories of hanging with the cool kids in Columbus and Bellefountaine, I am feeling surprisingly un-sentimental about their upcoming move. I really think that the good times haven't even started yet, that the West will treat them well, and they will enjoy it. And we will enjoy visiting them.

Still though, I'm always a little sentimental, especially at nighttime, so I've uploaded a few songs about Ohio and one about (I think) Oregon and the Northwest. Looking back and looking ahead. Although I will admit that the Too Much Joy song "Goodbye Ohio" has little to do with Ohio, except the title. But the Damien Jurado is pretty damned good...

I stink.

Goodnight!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Just About 80 Percent...

...of the cd's I've bought in the last year have been jazz cd's. Do I like jazz more than pop these days? Jury's still out...


...of the atmosphere at the B&N tonight was composed of my farts.


...of my dinner was my own chest (I hope) hair.


There's a little bit of a chill in the air tonight. It feels good. I can feel a little breeze blowing across the floor onto my bare feet.

The Jeanners signed up to go back to school today (I'm very proud of her, and I told her so), and yet she strangely didn't want to rent Rodney Dangerfield's 1986 laugh-fest Back To School to get her in the mood (which saddens and disappoints me).

Thursday, August 14, 2008

My Big Day, or The Year of the Roach

Yesterday was an important day, for two reasons:

1. It was my 31st birthday.

2. I fucking finished Mason and Dixon. And this is what I have to say:

a) Fuck that book. Fuck it in its A S S.

b) Fuck Thomas Pynchon for writing that book.

c) And finally, and definitely not least importantly, fuck BJ Gailey for recommending that book. Fuck him with a big fat cock. Or at least 2 medium-sized cocks. (Together, not one at a time).


Had a good, low-key birthday. Worked in the morning, went to the gym, went to dinner at a place in Little Italy [where, when the waiter came to take our plates, a cockroach scurried out from either on or underneath my plate. Woo-Hoo!], and then watched an episode of The Tudors while lounging in bed. The Tudors is still bad and nowhere near as good as Rome but damned if we aren't a little bit sucked in.

Spent a good portion of the day working on music and the rest of it on the phone with Verizon trying to fix our internet connection after it mysteriously stopped working. Every time they kept trying to transfer me to someone else, so I eventually hung up and somehow got the thing working myself. Or rather, it started working despite my efforts to screw it up even further.

Thanks for all the Facebook birthday wishes! Sorry for all the bad language!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Not Tired

It's starting to get late but I'm not tired. I mixed myself a big G&T when I got home from work this evening, and I'm still working on it. I've been reading through some old blog posts and realizing how glad I am that I've been keeping this here bloggy-blog. I don't look back at old posts too often, but when I do there's usually something back there that I don't remember writing that makes me smile.

I've been missing folks a lot lately. I listened to some Emmylou Harris at work the other night ("Sweet Old World"), and it made me miss Seanyboy. What it really made me do was look forward to one day having the songwriting visit that we talked about when I was visiting Alaska. We decided then that our next visit would be a songwriting visit rather than a recording visit. So I'm looking forward to that.

And I've been missing the Beej because he's leaving his podcast, and I feel like I haven't seen him in awhile, and I don't know when I'll see him next. Whenever I'm at work and I have nothing to do, I often feel the desire to call him up and shoot the shit. But I don't because A) Inevitably, as soon as I pick up the phone to call someone while I'm at work, 10 customers will walk into the department and I'll have to get off the phone and do my goddamn job, and B) BJ is a bitch and doesn't answer his phone.

And of course, the Schluetrmetz', cause they're moving and have some major changes coming up, and I wonder how our lives will intertwine in the future. Will we end up in the same place? Where is that place? What the fuck will we all be doing? I am beginning to realize that they have a profound effect on my phsyche: 1) I quit smoking after a visit to the Schluetermetz'. 2) I quit eating like a piggy after a visit to the Schluetermetz'. 3) I feel rejuvenated and creative after a visit with the Schluetermetz', and am somehow able to come home and start working on songs again.

Somehow they help me transition out of any ruts I might be traveling in...

(I have just hidden some toenail clippings somewhere in our living room for Jeannie or myself to find at some point in the future and be entirely grossed out. And now I've probably grossed you out, too. Sorry. But it seems like a fun game? No?)

And today I was playing on the guitar that Rich made for me, and I can't pick the damn thing up without wondering how he's doing, and I hope he's doing well. I hope that he gets a chance to come out and visit at some point this year. That reminds me, I need to send uncle Rico an e-mail and ask his advice...Rico is one of a kind.

And jeez, I've been missing people who live right down the damned road. I haven't really seen Pat all summer, haven't seen anybody from CSC, haven't hung out with A-Train. I think there's something inside me that hibernates during the summertime, and I don't know why, exactly. And I really hope that it is just during the summer, and that I'm able to come out of it during the fall, and get off my ass, and make the effort to go see people when I can.

I was listening to some of my songs on the way to work today, and I decided that my favorite line that's in any of them is a pretty simple one: "When will I see you again?"

So, when will I see you again?

Alright, I should go attempt some sleep. Eye doctor appointment tomorrow!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

SMARTIES! Part Deux

Seriously, I think I have given myself diabetes with the number of SMARTIES that I have eaten in the last two days. When I was finished tonight at work, I had filled about half of a standard-sized office waste can with discarded SMARTIES wrappers. But dammit if they didn't make the night better.

I'm gonna go ahead and post the rough draft of this song I'm workin' on. The vocals are pretty much just gibberish I was singing so that I will remember a possible melody when I actually try to come up with real words. I think it's a good start, definitely similar to 'The Ring' but maybe different enough...we'll see what happens with it.

Do you want some golden fried jumbo shrimp? Or is it just me?

Saturday, August 09, 2008

SMARTIES!

Had a good, productive day yesterday. Went to the gym, did some laundry, baked some cookies, made some dinner, and worked on some music that could turn into a pretty decent song. Now I just have to come up with a decent song. But I like the music, because the things that were "accidents" ended up being the most interesting things, and that's always fun.

Listened to BJ's last podcast today, and it made me kinda sad. I will miss my semi-weekly dose of the Beej.

Tonight work was so god-damned boring that I seriously wanted to kill myself. Then I ate about 15 rolls of SMARTIES and it got a whole lot better.

I am currently stuffing my face with some delicious popped corn and some even more delicious beer.

When I typed "popped corn" just now, I first accidentally typed "pooped corn." How silly. It won't be pooped corn 'til I eat it tomorrow night...

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

There Will Be Transvestite Shoplifters

I just finished watching There Will Be Blood. I liked it. Daniel Day Lewis is pretty awesome. The whole time I was watching the movie, I was picturing PKP in the Daniel Plainview role, though. I think Pat probably would have done just as good a job.

Went to the beach on Sunday. Hung out with folks from B&N down there. It was a good time, pretty laid back, relaxing. Nothing too outrageous. I got a little bit of a sunburn. I was pretty good about using the ol' sunscreen, though. But I guess I should have put some on my titties, cause that's where I got burned.

I got subpoenaed the other day. Turns out that I have to go be a witness 'gainst the shoplifter that I chased down at the B&N. Anyway, it'll be my first time in court. I hope Harry Anderson is the judge.

The Jeanners and I have been watching the epic western miniseries Lonesome Dove. One of my favorites. We just finished it the other night, and both had ourselves a good cry. If you've never seen it, for the love of Jebus, do yourself a favor and rent the sumbitch.

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Thanks a lot, Kneser.

This has been in my head (and Jeannie's, too) for several days.



From Knese's Emergency Pudding.