Friday, February 24, 2012

Ponis for sale

The other night Jeannie and I were sitting around (which is what we do), and I was on the internet (which is what I sometimes do), and she was probably lounged on me in some way (which is what she does), and she told me to buy her a pony. So I was being all funny and I got on Google and typed in "Baltimore Ponies for Sale," except I messed up and typed in "Baltimore Ponis for sale."

This short story doesn't do the whole situation justice, but it was pretty awesome.

Because 'ponis' is kind of like 'penis.'


Hey! Last night we went to this big sale of second-hand baby stuff, and it was a little crazy because you had to have a ticket to get in, and you had to be a pregnant lady to get a ticket (or the guest of a pregnant lady), so it was basically a big grocery store-sized place with a couple of hundred pregnant ladies and their moms, and a few tortured/amused looking guys, in a kind of Black Friday-esque feeding frenzy. It was not our type of scene. Nevertheless, we got some good deals on some newborn clothes (which are, admittedly, cute as hell) and other basic stuff. We waited in line for literally 1 hour to check out. The worst part was that we both had to hold our farts while we were in line because we didn't want to be rude.

Tonight we have nothing planned so we will probably watch Downton Abbey. Or, as the customers as work like to call it, Downtown Abbey. Which, in my head, would star Jackée.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Dead Rats Behind My Eyes (or Sorry, I Need You in the Butt)

Last night I had a dream that E. Elz and I were going to a concert featuring U2, Ozzie Smith, and ZZ Top. I think that Ozzie Smith was really supposed to be Ozzie Osbourne, but my dream-mind must have been confused because I kept saying "Ozzie Smith" in the dream.

The other night I had a dream that Ian was calling my references, and was talking to people at the B&N about me, and kept asking them, "Do you ever feel like he has dead rats behind his eyes?" And everybody kept saying yes.

And also last night in bed, Jeannie kneed me in the butt and said, "Sorry I kneed you in the butt," but what I heard was "Sorry, I need you in the butt." Hijinks ensued.

Also, I cannot find any good pictures for "kneed in the butt."

Thursday, February 09, 2012

Insulation and Pregnancy

I used the title of this post as a subject line for an e-mail to my mom, and she got a kick out of it, so I thought I'd use it again.

What's been going on?

The main news is that the insulation folks were here on Monday finishing up the insulation work on the house. So the contract that we've been working towards for the last year-and-a-half or so, and that we took out a loan for, and included all the yard work and roof work and insulation work, is now finished. Except for finishing all the paperwork and filing for all the remaining money rebates that we're eligible for. It also means that the large, looming deadline that has been hanging over our heads for a lot of the housework we've been doing is no longer looming over our heads. Now, the only large, looming deadline is the impending arrival of the baby currently known as Le Tigre.

I'm currently reading Cloud Atlas because of an online recommendation made by Miss J. Hunt. I am enjoying it. After the long non-fiction wasteland of Studs Terkel's Working, I needed something somewhat fanciful to get lost in, and Cloud Atlas has been good for that.

In the quest to come up with a good baby name, I think I've stumbled on a few rejected baby names that would make good dog names:

Mr. Miyagi
Sammy (or Samantha) Davis, Jr.

Most likely, now that the nuts and bolts work that needed to get done for the insulation crew is finished, we will mostly likely be focusing on some more decorative things like doors and trim. This is pretty exciting. I've been wanting to put up some doorjambs and hang some doors for like a year now, but the J-Dog wouldn't let me. Yea for doors! Huzzah!