Flames, on the side of my face....heaving...breathless

The title of this post is a quote (paraphrased, probably) from one of the funniest movies ever, Clue.  It's from a woman describing how much she hated her ex-husband.  

It's apropos because today Jeannie and I will be having a meeting where she tells me many of the things that I've done wrong over the course of our relationship, and how those wrongs have affected her emotionally, psychologically, and physically.  My job is to listen and reflect.  The meeting, at the Jeanners' request, will be attended by both of our respective therapists. 

 I'm not entirely sure what's coming my way, but for the last couple of days, I've been filled with this feeling of radiance and lightness in anticipation of it.  I'm sure I'm not going to enjoy or agree with everything that Jeannie says, but I'm so glad that she'll be saying it.  I admire the strength and guts it will take for her to say what's going on for her, whether I agree with her reasoning of how/why she got to where she is or not.  I'm expecting that I will not.  But, I love her, and I don't think there's anything she can say that will change that.   I suppose I will find out.  I want to hear what she has to say and take it in.  

In a weird way, I feel like an athlete the night before the Olympics.  My job for the next 12-24 hours or so will be to be to put everything I believe about Zen, Taoism, Christianity, meditation, codependence, etc. into practice:  LET GO.  GIVE UP CONTROL.  BREATHE.  KEEP QUIET.  LISTEN CLOSELY.  MOVE LIKE WATER.  BE IN TOUCH WITH THE LOVE AT THE CENTER OF MY BEING.  

I feel like I've been training for this my whole life.  I learned from my older brother at a young age how to take a punch (or body slam, suplex, etc) and keep going.  I learned from my dad how to go through unpleasant things and keep smiling and finding the good stuff all around.  I think I will need both of those skills today as I listen and reflect.  

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This post is feeling both way too real, and way too woo-woo at the same time.  Therefore, let me ground things with a little bit of poop talk: My poop has been textbook lately.  I swear, Olipop is great.  The stuff WORKS.  Bristol 4's every day.  

WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT?