Wednesday, June 01, 2016

Doh! A Deer!

Last night, 11pm, while I was driving home from rehearsal in Ellicott City on Interstate 70, a deer ran out in front of my car.  I had time to think, "A deer?  SHIIIIIIIITTTT!!!!" before striking the deer at around 65mph.  It went flying up onto the windshield and then off the passenger side and back as my car kept moving forward until I figured out what happened, took stock of all the lights that came on on the dashboard and all the weird noises that the car was now making, and got the car over to the side of the road.   Fluids leaking (the car's, not mine), hood, grill, and radiator all smashed up.  I called AAA and requested a tow truck, called my insurance company, called 911 to let them know that there may or may not be a deer who may or may not be dead somewhere on Eastbound 70.  Waited for the tow.  Waited.  Got a call from the driver who was trying to figure out exactly where I was located.  He was having difficulties understanding.  I got off the phone with him feeling unconvinced that he would find me, but hopeful.  Couldn't get through to Jeannie because she was sleeping and her phone was in DO NOT DISTURB mode, and our landline's ringer is turned off because only telemarketers call it (and my parents, whom I always call on my cell phone.  We have a landline only because from our local phone company you have to have a landline in order to get DSL service.  Stop mocking me for having a landline.  When the apocalypse comes and I still have my good old corded phone that works when the power goes out and you guys are all whining and trying to call your friends and relatives that are still safely living in non-apocalyptic areas, I'll be the one who's mocking YOU.)  So anyway, I was worried that I was gonna be stranded on the side of the road until Jeannie woke up and realized I wasn't home on time and checked her phone.  But eventually, the very kind, poorly driving, English-as-a-second-language, AAA graveyard shift towtruck driver showed up and towed me home the 25 miles.  Got home around 1:30.  Went to sleep.

So today I am celebrating being alive, and I am celebrating the life of the poor deer who I hit and who is probably dead.  I'm sorry I killed you, poor deer.  I did not mean to do it.

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