Monday, November 26, 2012

Terders and faerts

If I had a time machine right now, and could travel to any time or place I desired, I would go back in time and not eat whatever is was that I ate that is making my farts smell like this. 

You should feel bad for me because, for about a day and a half, I have had several songs from the new John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John Xmas CD stuck in my head.  Specifically, "This Christmas," and "Baby It's Cold Outside" (which somehow manages to sound, simultaneously, exactly the same as every other version of "Baby It's Cold Outside" you've ever heard AND worse than every other version of "Baby It's Cold Outside" you've ever heard). 

My son has started making solid turds.  It's weird.  I know I should be happy about this because it means that he's healthy, and he's processing solid food well and able to move it through the ol' alimentary canal well, but it really makes me kinda sad.  It's almost a little too adult, like he's started carrying a little briefcase around or reading the Wall Street Journal or something.

Work, so far, has been not-too-bad this holiday season.  The worst is yet to come. 

I just want to go on record as saying autumn seemed especially long and especially beautiful this year.  It also seems like it's almost over. 

I just Googled 'alimentary canal' to make sure I was using it correctly.  It's been a long time since grade school science class and I've forgotten a lot.  Turns out, though, that I'm a fucking genius on this one. 

I also just Googled 'genius' because it looked funny. 

I'm off work tomorrow.  I will be babysitting Dr. Babykins, however, so I'm not planning on doing anything productive or exciting.  I am merely planning on having a fun day with my little dude, maybe going for a walk, singing some songs, doing some standing, having some "play-by-your-fucking-self" time, and of couse meals and naps. 

Also considering buying Christmas lights!  Multicolored ones if I can find 'em. 

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