Sunday, April 27, 2008

To my homeboys:

If you're ever out and about, maybe hanging at your local grocery store or, I don't know....say a bookstore, and you think it would be a funny joke to take a shit in one of the urinals in the men's room, don't do it. Cause somebody is gonna have to clean your turd(s) out of the urinal. And that somebody might be the only male manager in the building, even if it's the music manager, who has nothing even vaguely resembling "turd removal" in his job description. Think about it.

6 comments:

PKP said...

I'm sorry, Dan. How could I know they would make you clean it up?

Schluetermetz said...

Which was worse, do you think: the urinal turd or the shit whipper?

DOB said...

The urinal turd was definitely worse. I would liken it to the difference between shooting someone at close range with a gun (the whipper) versus having to cut their throat (urinal turd). Neither is very fun, but the whipper had a bit of distance built in to the job, whereas the urinal turd was very hands on.

Plus, with the whipper, you had the added pleasure of directly breaking some sort of EPA mandate.

Although, now that I think of it, the turd was disposed of via a large dumpster (i.e. out with the regular trash), which I'm sure is some sort of public health violation, too.

Can the boy tell time? said...

I can imagine this being a life changing event. Less of the shitwhipper and more of a dumperfall, so to speak. I'm sure it seemed like a good idea at the time.

misslettinggogetting said...

Was it at least a nice looking turd?

JK said...

Once when I worked at Chuck E Cheese's this kid shit his pants and then crawled through the tunnels (like a ball crawl). He left a shit streak through the whole thing and I had to go through and clean it up. I don't think I lasted there much longer than that. At least that wasn't a grown man turd though.