Thursday, February 28, 2008

Glossary of References

I've been thinking about the blog today, and how people from one corner of my life may be reading references about people from another corner of my life and have no idea who I'm talking about. So I'm going to put together a glossary of names (and in some cases, nicknames) and how I know this particular person or place. In no particular order, except that Jeannie is first.

Jeannie (The Jeanners, J-Dog) - Jeannie and I are married. We got married on November 13th, 2004. We had our first date on March 5, 1995, and have been together ever since, except for approx. 6 months during 1998-99 when we broke up, which was one of the best things we ever did (although at the time it did not seem that way). We are both originally from St. Louis, though I am technically from the 'burbs, while she is a city girl, proper. She and I did not go to the same high school (she went to an all-girls place, and I went to an all-boys), and we went to college in separate places, as well. I think that most everyone who has met Jeannie will agree that she is awesome. But the really awesome thing about her is that the longer you know her, the more awesome she gets.

G&T's - Gin and tonics.

The B&N - I won't say what it stands for, but it's the store where I work.

The Schluetermetz' (Jen, Brad, Henry, Jack) - The Schluetermetz' is the collective name for Jen and Brad and their children (Henry and Jack). Jeannie and I met Jen and Brad in college, although I would like to point out that both Jen and Brad are several years older than us. They are (I think that all of my friends who know them will agree) probably the smartest of my friends. And funny as hell. They currently live in Ohio, but will be moving to Oregon in the summer of '08. Brad is sometimes called "Stinky." And occasionally, "Stinky Steinmetz the Hot Glue Man." Jen and I are very competitive when we get together, and I think she probably vacillates between liking me and intensely disliking me. I think we are a lot alike.

Truman - Truman is a reference to the name of the school where I went to college. It is located in a small town in Missouri. I went there from 1995 - 1999. Other people frequently referenced in the blog who went there: the Schluetermetz', Rich, BJ, Pat K., E. Elz, Drew, K-Torr, J. Knese, Sean, Karista and probably others I'm forgetting. Ron was and is a professor of all things pertaining to the technical aspects of theatre there.

Rich (RR, RWR, Richochet, Uncle Rico) - Rich is a friend from Truman. He is the inventor of the "down home country breakfast," and it's accompanying theme song. Some of his expressions and his sense of humor are often copied by me and some of my other friends. In short, he is probably the most consistently funny person I know. He lived with the Schluetermetz' for awhile, forming a group of people collectively known as the Schlueterileymetz'. Once, Rich and I sent a series of e-mails to each other where we signed off using the names of professional wrestlers, each of us trying to outdo the other with the obscurity of the wrestlers we were coming up with. In the end, both of us ended up cheating -- me using a book that I purchased from a school bookfair when I was a kid called "Wrestling Superstars," and Rich consulting the internet. In addition to being funny, Rich is probably the most thoughtful person I know, too. He seems to weigh things heavily. He's currently in St. Louis, having moved there from Chicago via Ohio.

Aimee (A-Train) - The first new person I met upon moving to Baltimore. She's from Pennsylvania. I met her on the day that she went to the Pigtown festival. She was one of my roommates during the Early Baltimore Period, and we lived together from 2001-2004. She is also a fellow LOST fan. The Jeanners and I like to hang with the A-Train. Currently living in the Baltimore area.

Early Baltimore Period - The time that Jeannie and I lived in Baltimore, but before we got married. Roughly 2001-2004.

BJ (The Beej, Bijou, Ben) - BJ is a friend from Truman, originally from the Kansas City area. We also were roommates in Baltimore during the Early Baltimore Period. BJ is the one who got me my job at the B&N, because when I moved to Baltimore he was working there in the receiving area. He also yelled at me for eating a bag of his chips approximately 20 minutes after I arrived in Baltimore. Not too long after I arrived in Baltimore, BJ moved back to the Midwest. He has made numerous visits back, however, and in early 2007 he lived in our (Jeannie's and my) living room for about 2 months.

Pat (Pat K., PKP) - Pat is another friend from Truman. Also a roommate during the Early Baltimore Period. Also a former B&N employee. Pat is a founding member of the Chesapeake Shakesp. Co., and probably the best actor that I personally know. Married to Teresa (T, T-Bone). Pat is one of the few people currently in the Baltimore-Washington area that Jeannie and I hang out with on a semi-regular basis, although not as much as we used to, and not nearly as much as we'd like to. (Please do not confuse references to Pat with references to "Patrick from Work," who I no longer work with and thus do not have a good distinguishing name for)

Drew (the Dude, Flippy the Magnificent) - Drew is a friend from high school who used to loan me pens every day. He is probably the gayest straight man that you will ever meet, or vice versa. He also went to Truman, and we lived together in the dorms our freshman year. He once puked in a basket of my clean laundry. Also, we once drove from Truman to Notre Dame and back in one day, and on the way back he told me an incredibly detailed, virtually day-by-day account of his life story. It was one of the most amazing things I've ever heard. He is a clown. Professionally. Married to Felicity (F-Bomb). Has lived in St. Louis, Portland, Chicago, and currently San Francisco.

Eric E. (Ricky, E. Elz,) - Eric is a friend from high school, and also from Truman, where he and I were roommates during our junior year. He would get mad at me for not rinsing the dishes after I washed them. Eric has always amazed me as one of those people who seems to know everyone, and also seems very comfortable in social situations. Which is strange because he sometimes also seems to hate everyone. Eric very often strikes me as 10 different people trapped in one body. And one of them wears cowboy hats and boots. The summer before I left St. Louis, my favorite thing was to hang out with Eric and Drew and Karista. Eric is the brother of OAA. Currently lives in St. Louis. (References to Eric E. shouldn't be confused with references to Eric, Jeannie's former boss. If I ever talk about Eric, Jeannie's former boss, I will probably refer to him as Eric (Jeannie's former boss).

OAA (Amy) - OAA is Eric E.'s sister. I know her primarily through her wonderful blog and also because for the past several years we've gotten drinks at the Ritz together on Christmas Eve.

J. Knese - Jeff is a friend from high school and college. I met him because we were in a band together. He is a terrific bass player. We were not technically roommates at Truman, but we kinda were. Jeff is one of those people who will be very quiet for a good portion of the time that you've been hanging out, and then at the end of the evening he will say the funniest thing you've ever heard. He used to have a job where he would travel to different prisons around the country, and once his travels brought him to Baltimore, where he went to a corn maze with us. Married to Casey. Living in St. Louis.

K-Torr - K-Torr's real name is John. He is a friend from high school, and also a roommate at Truman during our freshman, sophomore, and junior years. We shared a room for all of those years, and I would have to scream at him to wake up because he would be sleeping through his alarm for about 40 minutes. John is known for his big feet (size 17 shoes), but more for his great big heart. He was in the same band as J. Knese and I (The Quintessential Pine Tree Brothers) and has the most eclectic music tastes of anybody I know. Married to Christmas, and they currently live (I think) in the Denver area with their little boy, Nicholas.

Bewley - Bewley used to work with me at the B&N. In fact, she taught me how to do my job. She has since moved to Chicago. While she was at the B&N, Bewley was my work wife. Bewley is a native of the Baltimore area, and when I am very old and I think back to what the people in Baltimore were like, Bewley is probably the person who will pop into my brain. Bewley seems like a total democrat (tattoos, piercings, etc.) but is really a republican.

Korn (Korrine, Koko) - Korn took over Bewley's job at the B&N when Bewley left. She is rapidly developing the cynicism and hatred for humanity that is a key to working at the B&N. When Korn turned 21, The Jeanners and I had people from the B&N over to our apartment, and I got drunk and sick. Although I really didn't drink that much. It was kind of embarrassing. Korn is studying some sort of marine biology and only occasionally fails her classes. Her middle name is Keiko.

MAW (Mary Ann, the Walshers) - MAW is the second new person I met when I moved to Baltimore, and I instantly felt like I had known her for years. She reminds me of my aunt Sharon. MAW has a way of making you feel much more talented and interesting than you really are, and she is always at least 30 minutes late. She likes terrible movies. Currently lives in NYC, and I miss her.

Brian G. (Brian Gee, Brianna) - Works at the B&N. Everybody likes Brian G.

Brian W. (FCW) - Former boss at the B&N. Whenever I have a question about what to do at my job, I ask myself, what would W do?

Sean (Spiff, Seanyboy) - Sean is a friend from college. We bonded during an english class where we both seemed to like Allen Ginsberg and not like the professor. He could be described as a "hippie," although I don't think that he thinks like a hippie. Awesome songwriter, great guitar player, occasionally sings in tune. Once Sean and I drove 4000 miles in a week. He took off his boots in the back seat of my car and his feet stank very bad. I am Woodrow F. Call to Sean's Augustus McCrae. He currently lives in Alaska with his awesome girl, Nicole.

Katie (North American Wanderer, K-Pax) - Katie is a friend of ours, originally from Bethlehem, PA, that Jeannie met while she was working at the Maryland Institute College of Art. She and Jeannie have hung out a lot, walked together, and had a joint garden together at the Clifton Park community garden. She is interested in farming. She has been known to come over and drink G&T's at our kitchen table with us, which we enjoy. She has also spent a good portion of the last six months traveling around the country by train.

Karista - I might have met Karista in high school, but if I did I don't remember it. We became friends in college, and although I usually act like I'm much older than her, there are certain times of the year when we're the same age. She is at times very reserved, at times very wacky, and at times very normal. Her dad has a big mustache. Karista was a big part of the fun of the Kaldi's Period. The last I heard, she's teaching in St. Louis. It's been over a year since we've hung out, though.

Kaldi's Period - The summer before I left St. Louis. I spent a lot of time hanging out with Eric, Drew, and Karista (and California Mike, Blind Ryan, et al) at Kaldi's coffee house in St. Louis. A time that has a rosy, golden light shining around it in my memory. Other things I associate with the Kaldi's Period: Chuy Arzola's Mexican Restaurant, The Heights gym, and hanging out at the Schluetermetz' grandma's house.

Bosco (CMB, Color Me Bad) - The person that I have been friends with the longest, I think. Bosco and I met while playing soccer together when we were around 4 or 5 years old. Our dads coached most of our little league teams together. He and I also went to high school together, where he drove a white Honda Civic in which you had to turn off the air conditioner so you could get up to speed on the highway. He introduced me to the music of Frank Sinatra. His dad introduced me to the music of Pavarotti. When we were little kids, his family had a blue Ford Maverick that had a hole in the floor on the passenger side. It scared the hell out of me. Once, Bosco came to visit me at Truman, and I got drunk and threw up spaghetti (I don't recommend it), and then the next morning he and Eric and I went to Ailerons restaurant, where I wore a black stocking cap and pretended I was mentally challenged all morning. Married to Susan, who I like, and living in Kansas City with their little boy, Henry.

That's the glossary for now. If you come across a person or term in the blog that you're not familiar with and that's not included here, leave a comment and I'll update it.

1 comment:

PKP said...

This is the greatest blog entry of all time. From here forward known as TGBEOAT. Not to be confused with THNSCRB.