Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Fair and Balanced

So my friend Jen Schlueter has sent me an e-mail, saying that she seems to recall me telling a story about a time that someone overheard ME in the bathroom at the B&N, making a big #2. She also says that out of fairness to the (presumed) man that I "slandered" yesterday, I should post that story. So, in order to score cosmic karma points, I offer an apology to the (presumed) man who was crapping loudly at the B&N yesterday and submit this excerpt from my e-mailed reply to Schlueter:

"Yes, there was a time when the security guard
overheard me taking a shit, but in my defense, I think
I had some sort of food poisoning or something. And I
don't think mine sounded as broadly comical as the one
I heard yesterday. Mine just sounded like a lot of
messy shit coming out quickly and forcefully. The one
yesterday had huge, loud, long farts, combined with
shit, and then more farts. It was like a crap
symphony. There were discernable movements. No pun intended."

I would also like to take this opportunity to apologize to any readers of a sensitive nature who don't like bad words or blogs about doo-doo. I generally try to keep the language PG-13, but sometimes when you're writing about #2 you just have to call it shit.

I've got the next 2 days off, and I'm going to try to fill them with useful, productive activities, and hopefully a lot of sunshine. I plan on making some homemade pizza tomorrow. At the momemt, however, I am sweaty from the gym and in need of a shower, and I have a new disc of LOST waiting to be viewed.

Rich, am I correct in remembering that MacGyver's first name is Angus?

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