Richie Rich

I was reading Rich's blog tonight and was struck by a few things. First, I'll pull a quote that jumped out at me:

"The issue really is this...if I'm honest with myself, I'd recognize that I have no real musical talent."

It's a thought that I have running through my head a lot, and then I have an answer to it that always makes me feel better and know that I'm on track: I work on songs because I enjoy doing it. I would love it if other people listen to them and enjoy them, but ultimately, the only reason I do it is because when I'm working on a song I forget about time, I forget to eat, I forget about everything else and I go into some sort of place where nothing else exists except the song. Even on bad songs, that place lasts for awhile, but with bad songs it doesn't stay around very long, it falls apart pretty quickly. The songs that I keep and that I keep listening to are the ones that can put me into a different place and keep me there; either they have a line that resonates every time I hear it, or there's a note that makes my stomach hurt every time I hear it or something like that. So, ultimately, I don't care if I'm any good or if I'm bad because as long as I can listen to them and they do something to me, then I'm happy.

I would guess that most of the people who read this have had their hands in an art form at one time or another, and that everybody has had doubts about whether they're any good. And I say, it doesn't fucking matter. Do you enjoy what you're doing? Then it doesn't matter. Just do it. As long as you enjoy doing it, keep doing it. If you never let anyone else in the world hear something but just keep it on your Ipod and listen to it over and over again, then it's a good thing. If you sell it and millions of people hear it and love it, it's a good thing. If you send it out and people laugh at you, that's cool, too, because you still have fun listening to it on your Ipod. The only things that matter happen in your head and your heart.

It's a strange thing, but I've been thinking lately that a big reason why I make music is that so when I'm dead people can have something else of me left behind other than pictures. I think that's pretty cool. Not that I'm planning on dying. Ever. I'm pretty much like Chuck Norris, in that respect.

Had a fun time tonight with BJ and Pat and Jeannie, playing Apples to Apples. Except we kept calling it by its German name, which I can't spell but sounded like "Apfelm tzu Apfelm."

I'm going to bed early tonight, and I feel kinda sad, but in a good way. I miss my friends, it's nice having BJ in town because it's one less person to miss.