Thursday, July 18, 2024

Olipoop

I've never done a product endorsement before, but here goes:  

If you've ever read this blog, you probably know that I'm very interested by poop and the fine art of pooping.  

My kids and I were doing our weekly grocery-shopping a few weeks ago, and in a local Mom's Organic Market I came across a brand of soda called Olipop, which was marketing itself as a soda that aided with digestion and contained a whopping 32% of a person's daily recommended dietary fiber requirement.  I've been eating a fairly high-protein diet lately and one of the side effects I've noticed is that it makes my poop a little on the firm side (think Bristol 1-3), so I decided to give it a try and bought a 12oz can despite its daddy warbucks price of $2+ per.  And damn if my poop the next day wasn't a textbook Bristol 4.  Perfection, beautiful in every way.  So the next week I bought a 4 pack and sure enough, each day that I drank an Olipop, the next day I was blessed with a sausage turd of perfection in the tarlet area.  And the streak has continued ever since.  And speaking of streaks, another added bonus is that butt-wiping has ceased being a laborious affair (as it so often is for those of us who are gluteally hirsuit) and is now quick and simple.  

So anyway, #Olipop if you're listening, thank you.  And I'm free for an endorsement deal and happy to share my poop stories on a national level.